Jealousy

When I was growing up,  I went to school with a girl I envied. She was smart, and she worked hard at school, she was very pretty, and was always tidy. The teachers loved her, other students loved her, she was seemingly perfect. She had lovely straight blonde hair, and her mother used to spend a fair bit of time french braiding her hair, sometimes even fishtail braids.

Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.

She was I felt I was physically unattractive, but had a very different personality type, with a litany of anxieties. I resented her because I wasn’t her,  so, in truth, I resented myself. Jealousy feels awful.

We let jealousies eat away at ourselves and ultimately our relationships or friendships. We waste time, just dwelling in the dark pool of self hate. How do we process these feelings, and how do we use them to get to know ourselves better? How do we crawl out of that pit?

Take some time out and think about the root of the issue.

What are you jealous of? How does this jealousy make you feel emotionally and physically? Acknowledging your feelings is the first big step. 

 Dissect your jealousy, and try to learn about yourself from it.

Why might you be jealous? Is what you’re jealous of attainable, or is it out of your reach?

If what you’re jealous of is something you can work towards, how can you action it?

And if it’s not attainable, ask yourself why?

Focus on yourself, and your own abilities, works in progress, and positive attributes.

Make this less about others, and more about you. You’re you, and there’s no one else out there exactly like you. Try to remember words of praise and encouragement from people in your life, keep a list, if need be. Come back to the words when you need to.

Above all, remember that jealousy is normal. No emotion is inherently bad or good, although they certainly don’t all feel that great. 

We’re complex creatures with a wide array of emotions and we’re allowed to feel them all. What you do with your feelings is your choice. You don’t have to hold onto them, if you don’t want. Sitting with our feelings and mulling them over and truly examining what we’re feeling, gives us great insight into ourselves, and we learn a little bit more.